Preconditions Set For Iran

So that's what he meant! We don't set the preconditions, Ahmadinejad does! Okay, I see.

Wait...WHAT?!

Iran wants a formal apology from President Obama (or perhaps even Secretary Clinton will do) for the last sixty years of "bad acts and the crimes they committed against Iran.”

Dude. Really?

I'm sure that by now this is not news to you, but I would just like to point out some things here:

The psychology behind this is like a kid testing a particularly placating adult; the kind that abhors physical punishment or confrontation because those things will indubitably lead to "emotional damage" later in life. 

Ahmadinejad is seeing what he can get away with. He wants the Grand Prize of the Great Satan bowing to him and the entire Terrorist Consortium.

Obama had better not be considering it. Like giving an energy drink to the 7-year-old just because he wants it, this is a bad idea on so many levels...

Aside from the damage it would do to our security, credibility, and standing the whole world over, it would kill him here at home. Everyone from the far Right to the moderate Left would issue an official "WTF" complaint. That would be nice and all, but not at that price.

Also, one of the Ayatollahs may be shopping for a new president. His (Ayatollah Khazali's) son is posting funny stuff about Ahmadinejad being a Jew on the internet. I know, I know, "not that old trick", but their family did change their name from the Armenian-sounding 'Saborjian' to the well-known current incarnation that means "Race of Mohammed". 

Hmmm...kind of like tattooing "NOT JEWISH" on your forehead.

Regardless of this allegation's truth, apparently the post is not being denounced by the other Ayatollahs (I welcome corrections here...).

Maybe the theocracy of Iran is tired of all the attention (or the variety of such) their puppet is bringing them?

H/T: Hot Air and Iraq Pundit

Michael Steele, RNC Chairman

Congratulations sir, and best of luck to you and us!

(Much better choice than Rush in my humble opinion...)

"Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war..."
~ Julius Caesar (Shakespeare, 1601)


H/T: The Patriot Room

Serendipitous Success

The Bail-out worked great!

No, I'm serious, it did! Look at what it accomplished:

We gave money to failed businesses run by morally failed leadership. This allowed for the serendipitous windfall of watching these bastards use the misbegotten money to go on hunting trips, get manicures, and buy expensive French planes.

The new administration then got to use these unforeseen benefits to further the "Evil CEO's and Corporate America" shtick that accompanies some of the more flagrant Socialization additions to the Stimulus Bill.

We could have given the money to good businesses, those unaffected by the crash, then required them, in exchange, to take on failed businesses, but without the failed leaders, and we could have stipulated that they release them back into the wild after they reach a certain level of self-sufficiency, etc...

...but that wouldn't have been NEARLY as helpful as what they have to work with now:

Useful Corporate Idiots.

Solidarity from the Right

There seems to be a misconception that as Republicans, we don't care about the poor. It has even been postulated that we hate them.

Generalizations and spin are wonderful things aren't they?

Given the recent events in the House regarding the Stimulus Bill, we are now seen by some as hateful sore losers.

Not so.

What we are doing is protesting a bill that we have almost no faith in. If we don't believe that something will work, why shouldn't we vote against it? It has nothing to do with the poor other than the fact that we think this bill will hurt everyone, including the poor.

When we tried to debate and compromise, we received the admonition from Obama that, "I won. I'll trump you on that."

Trump all you like, Mr. President, we will still not vote for that which we do not agree with.

If we seem like sore losers with this action, well perhaps you might consider your own words or thoughts over the last eight years:

"Our party is weak."

"We are too busy infighting to stand up a real opposition."

"We just can't get it together."

I will not cite any articles here for any of these statements as I have heard them from so many sources both in person and on the internet that I doubt the necessity.

So when, in the face of its first real opposition from a new administration, my party stands up to the challenge and presents a united front so loud and clear that it affects the public approval of this measure, don't be surprised. It even affected the outlook of Sen. Ben Nelson D-Neb:

“I don’t even know how many Democrats will vote for it, as it stands today.”

It's only a protest. Sort of like the ones you occasionally indulge in, only without the effigy-burning, the hilariously ironic signs, and the bumper-sticker bullhorns. We inherently know the only thing that really matters; votes.

The Left has for decades touted quite highly a condition that we, the Right, recently displayed with great success and effectiveness:

Solidarity.

Now we wait while the Senate confers over the wisdom of this bill. I hope that the GOP in that body can perform as admirably or better.

What do I mean by "better"?

A real compromise, a dramatically smaller price-tag, less special interest spending, more stimulus, tax-cuts, you know, something that we could get behind.

Then we could all be "Solidaritized" together. Wouldn't that be nice?

H/T: The Weekly Standard and Hot Air

Deserter's Profits

To anyone who sympathizes with this horrible wretch, Joshua Key:

Never, EVER, speak to me again about the ideals of Duty, Honor, Integrity, Fidelity, or Accountability.

If you side with this heinous little bastard, you have lost all rights to argue anything involving those points ever again.

At some point in his enlistment process, Mr. Key was required to raise his right hand and swear an Oath of Service to this country. He has refused, by deserting, to honor what was said in that Oath. He has turned his back on his country and his integrity.

He states that he was lied to by his recruiter about never being deployed. In a post-9/11 world, you are a moron to believe it, and I am doubtful as to the veracity of such a claim anyway.

He goes on to describe a blatant and pre-meditated war crime that he stood guard for.

Why didn’t he say something then?

Why didn’t he report it later?

Why is he capitalizing (highly acclaimed book release) off this atrocious (if true…) act now?

This despicable and cowardly excuse for a human being could have done or said something at anytime during or after the alleged incident and Federal Law would have protected him as a “whistle-blower”.

The precedent that this sets is truly dangerous. Now, according to his supporters, no one is accountable to their words or actions anymore. If you disagree with something, you can just leave. No need to right the wrong. Just cut and run.

Very well then…

I want to see this loathsome cad dragged into a Military Court Martial and tried for Desertion, as an accomplice in the crime (he didn’t say anything, and that makes him an accessory), Slander, and as a War Profiteer.

Peto abyssus, you disgusting waste of life.

Stimulus-Response

The “Stimulus Bill” was passed with absolutely no GOP support yesterday.

Small consolations are going to be the only “Hope” left over for us, I fear.

Recently, in a discussion with my father, I forwarded the notion the Obama’s plan was to present a core idea surrounded by porky dross that could be pared away to, in comparison, make the original intent look more palatable.

Basically, if you have something that you want to sell for $200, start the haggling at $700. Who knows? You might be able to get $350 for it.

However, my father told me that in his experience, people tend to lend, or project, sinister intelligence upon those in charge who are doing something that they dislike. It is hard for us to accept a difficult explanation that yes, they really are that stupid.

He cited Occam’s Razor:

Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem

Or roughly, but more commonly, translated:

All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best.

Two weeks ago, I firmly believed that Congress would pare down the “fat” to leave the core of Obama’s idea, thus allowing him to pass something that presented by itself would have received much derision and contempt from the Right, possibly even from some dissenters on the Left as well.

Nope. It got passed, in its totality, to squeals of delight from the Left.

God help us all.

I hope the Senate can do something to stall or kill it, but I am not going to engage in auto-asphyxiation…

Hamas Pays Up (Update)

So, everyone who lost their home in Gaza is getting $200USD from Hamas in the aftermath of the recent war with Israel.

Bailouts are everywhere it would seem.

According to USA Today, Hamas is attempting to give the residents of the embattled Gaza Strip the clear message that "We are still here."

I'm sure that's reassuring to the same people that were being used as human shields just a week-and-a-half ago.

With over 25,000 homes claimed to have been damaged or destroyed, Hamas is running numbers already for the full court post war "press".

The numbers are still too fresh to consider accurate, but they will be high, and highly doubted.

Already, the EU is getting a little overwrought in the sympathy department, and is placing the blame squarely on the shoulders of Hamas. There is a God.

What I want to know is:

Who's giving Hamas $5000000USD? (Do the math...)

Update:

Now Hamas is requesting an outside evaluation of their battle tactics reports "Jane's". Who is funding and advising these guys?

Realize that this is very unusual behavior for these people. 

This is rational.

Between the money, the smart after-game analysis, and Iran's flubbed "Hail Allah" pass being silenced all over, I might start getting worried...

H/T: Little Green Footballs

Iranians Bearing Gifts

What’s wrong with this picture?

On January 20, while the world collectively held it’s breath to witness history, an incident occurred in the Middle East.

Acting on an intelligence lead, we intercepted a ship flying false colors (thanks to a mid-sea name change) that was headed for the Sinai Peninsula, reportedly carrying a large consignment of weapons in secret compartments that were meant for Hamas. The ship’s manifest doesn’t list the weapons, but intelligence says they’re there. I think the crew may have gravitically empowered some legumes on these weapons as well.

The ship was from Iran.

In order to get at the illegal cargo (it’s hidden in the hull apparently), they would have to make use of a large dock. The nearest acceptable choice is in Egypt. This is a problem however, as the Egyptian government is trying to be the arbitrators in the peace process there. I guess they don’t want too much evidence in their front yard making one side look guiltier than the other.

It’s become a political "Hot Potato" being tossed between the US, the UN, and Egypt and you haven’t heard about it because of a press blackout on the story. This is the first major international incident of a brand-spanking-new administration, and they want it kept under wraps.

Why in hell would they want that?

All throughout the campaign, we heard about the weakness that Obama would display in the face of a threat, and here’s his chance to, if not silence most, then quiet some of those fears. Here’s a golden opportunity to flex some hawkish muscles without actually doing anything drastic at all and he’s not taking it.

All he would have to do is:

1. Document everything. Statements, paperwork, take photos, make videos, the works.

2. Send a carbon copy of everything to the UN and the world’s press.

3. Send the freighter home (sans weapons) with some of that tough “smart diplomacy” talk.

4. Demand that the UN place sanctions and embargos on Iran for its blatant war-mongering (it wouldn’t happen, but it would throw the UN off balance by making them have to at least appear to take the unpopular side in the conflict…).

5. Give a cute speech about “Hope, Change, Not Being Bush, Unicorns, etc,” go home and watch the approval ratings go up.

So why isn’t he? What don’t we know? Why has it been 5 days and he’s not doing what he does best; exploiting a situation, taking all the credit, and cashing in the political chips?

It is a mysterious situation that has a terrifying underlying possibility:

Maybe he doesn’t know what to do.

H/T The Patriot Room and Debka

Edjumuhkashun Reform Part 3

The purpose of Education has been lost.

Numerous politicians and pundits have, as of late, gone on record as saying that, “We need to better prepare our children for the ‘International Job Market’”. I ask if this is truly the case.

Education has become a sort of mediocre mass-production assembly line of children that can pass standardized proficiency tests. The tests that were supposed to simply be a gauge for fine-tuning the process, have now become the goal, indeed the point of education in its entirety.

Emphasis is on the “skills needed to succeed in the workforce”, rather than any real personal development.

Education used to be about training citizens. The promotion of self-thought, self-reliance, and independence were the highest ideals.

Facts and figures, the “3 R’s”, history, these were all presented in repetitive fashion to ingrain them indelibly into the minds of the young, but their ultimate purpose was to give the student a basis for personal growth.

Some students weren’t made for academia, and dropped out before graduation. These students went on to learn the skills of their respective jobs at their jobs. Be it farming, industrial labor, or other various occupations, they didn’t need to have graduated from secondary school to achieve success. Many industrial success stories come from just such individuals.

Other children went on to continue their educations at institutions of higher learning. Colleges and universities trained those with the money or intellect (or both) to view the world from a higher plane of thought. Perhaps not too surprisingly, they too were taught their skills in the workplace of their choosing (or circumstance).

Today, we have an illusion that all children need to go to college, that they should all be five to six figure income winners. We have a misrepresented idea that all children are destined for greatness. I suppose that it might be considered quaint, but I think that the individual at the corner store who succeeds in keeping their business open for decades is great. I hold in equally high esteem the people that perform the “little” jobs that make the earth continue to spin on its axis. Most of them do not have higher educations, and some of them, I’d wager, do not have high school diplomas either.

Colleges and universities have become trade schools. There was a time when any higher field of study, chosen only for its intrinsic value or interest, was sufficient to make one eligible for a role in business. Outside of careers in law or medicine, two fields inherently requiring specific study, any degree could be considered preparatory for higher end job markets. Even science has only in recent human history become a specialist field of employment.

Another disturbing development in education is the idea that children’s interests must be pandered to. Rather than base the process of learning on the principle that the child should want to learn, we have sacrificed much of its integrity in order to bribe the child’s attention. We demand less, so we receive less. Children are inherently curious about the world around them, and once acclimatized to the idea that learning is not always a flashy or fun process; they accept the necessary tenets of repetition and reinforcement much more easily.

Computers have become the prime example of this errant methodology. I have heard scads of politicians pontificate time and again over the need for a computer on every desk. Why? Didn’t children ever learn anything prior to the invention of the computer? Didn’t the science required for its development need to be refined through ages of trial and error, a process of generations? Did President Garfield need a computer to write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other, and speaking to an advisor at the same time? How were these things accomplished?

They read books, and good ones at that. They had teachers who taught with the techniques listed above. They had discussions, and field trips (to real fields, no less), and projects, and science fairs, they wrote ad infinitum, and all the other things that still exist today, but are being pushed out in favor of sitting a child down in front of a glowing screen that is a pale and cheap substitute for real-life-hands-on learning.

Computers are excellent tools for research and communication, but they are not teachers. Furthermore, they certainly don’t offer any real advantage to the learning process. Instead, they serve mostly to distract with flashing lights and colors.

Another argument for their wide-spread inclusion into schools is that children need to learn how to use them in this day and age. This statement will always strike me as ridiculous.

When was the last time you needed to teach your child how to make their own “Myspace” page, complete with glitter background, animated gifs, and other assorted sense assaulting nonsense? How about finding the latest songs on the internet by the trendy band of the week? Word processing programs and other such software are intuitive and user-friendly. Computers and children go together all too well, and I would argue that no child requires a formal education in anything computer related unless it deals specifically with programming, or a highly specialized computing program.

For the record, the last time I received a formal education in computer skills, I was taught the “BASIC” computer language. That has brought me untold riches, let me tell you. Technology is by its very nature a quickly advancing thing, and the only real way to learn how to use it is to jump right in and do just that. Most children now have access to computers and the internet, and with proper adult supervision, they can learn all they need to know about those things very quickly.

I have gotten off topic some, but I hope you have understood my thoughts here. We need to return to a more practical approach in learning, a more pragmatic philosophy about education in general, and for God’s sake;

Turn off the damned TVs and kick the little bundles of energy outside where they belong!

The "Turbo Tax Reform"

I am hereby unveiling my proposal to all Republicans and Patriots:

The "Turbo Tax Reform"

Inspired by Mr. Geithner's lax attitude towards paying his taxes for six years, I am proposing that we all do the same thing.

How does a man who flaunted the Tax Laws get to be the man who now enforces them? How do Republicans allow such a travesty to occur? Why are we not so incensed by this hideous display of cronyism that we do not immediately rise up and take action similar to the Boston Tea Party?

Given the President's less than helpful attitude towards political dissenters, ("I won, I will trump you on that.") I think it only fair that we "trump" him back.

I think that the absence of cash flow will get his attention and remind him of his "bi-partisan" stance towards the other half of this country.

I'd like to see the IRS audit 150 Million people. I would LOVE to see them try. Maybe the Organization for America could help them. He'd give them a uniform, like t-shirts, maybe a dark earth tone of some sort...

I bet Congress and the Senate would have a tough time passing gas let alone a Trillion dollar Stimulus-Response Bill without the moolah to back it up. Oh that's right, they don't have that either. It's not printed yet.

Maybe that would deflate the imperturbable Mr. President long enough to let him see the strength this country really has.

Perhaps then we would be living up to the lofty rhetoric of his Inaugural Speech...

To our Liberal Friends:

Congratulations on the consummation of your victory. It’s been quite a show, and we were all treated to many different varieties of Artist, Pundit, and Politico and their belief in this “Day of Hope” for America and the World. I believe that it is safe to say that Obama’s Inauguration (and the days leading up to it) is like nothing we have ever seen.

I would like to take this time to reassure you that we of the Right will do that which was difficult for some of you during the last eight years:

We will accept that Barack Obama is our President and the Leader of the Free World.

We will not decry the Will of the People, nor will the vast majority of us cling to insane hopes concerning various documents or other assorted nonsense. We have a 44th President of The United States, and he is our Commander in Chief.

This is our way of demonstrating that we believe so fervently in due process that we accept the outcome even when it is not that which we desire.

I must however, offer a caveat to you in regards to the concession that we offer. Our acceptance of his Presidency does not entail our support of his policies that conflict with our beliefs. We will hold him accountable for that which he does wrong, and we will give him credit where it is due. It will be difficult, but I for one will try my best.

Having now stated in plain English my intentions for the next four years as far as political conduct is concerned; I shall resume my usual tone…

I give the honeymoon until May. Those of you who are adept at arithmetic may notice that this is roughly about 100 days from now.

Around that time there will be many an iconic-t-shirt-wearer still standing in town squares with American flags that only recently saw the light of day. Their smiles will be forced, or at least strained. Nervous feet will be shuffling, and a quiet but audible murmuring will begin to manifest from somewhere in the center of the mass. Someone near you will say with the conviction of the desperate,

“Any minute now…”

The Unicorn Saddle will be gathering a thin patina of dust (not to be confused with fairy dust, as this will too have failed to materialize) that will foreshadow its sad and somewhat embarrassed career as an antique mall novelty. It will reside somewhere between the “Vote for Carter” buttons, and the Spiro Agnew ashtray.

“I can feel it. It’s coming…”

The mortgage will still be due and the Stimulus Bill will be passed, effectively mortgaging our country in the process. While the Media will tout the jobs that it creates, chances are good that statistically, you won’t be in those markets. There will also be a nagging doubt regarding the amount of taxes you pay, and the amount of money we will be spending on various projects, including your stimulus check.

“I Believe in Hope…”

The Troops will continue to go about their business of providing back-up to the increasingly stable Iraq, and surging into Afghanistan. Losses will be reported, but in a kinder, gentler way. The spin will make it more palatable I suppose.

“Change is here…”

Iran will still be hanging innocent people for the “crime” of being homosexual, their women still treated as chattel, and Ahmedinejad will still be screaming for the complete destruction of Israel. Hamas will still be a threat with its rockets and terror tactics, but surely peace talks and other “aggressively innovative diplomatic measures” will eventually bear the fruit of lasting peace, right?

“For the Children…um…”

The “Political Prisoners of the Bush Regime” at Guantanamo Bay will still be there, still being “tortured” with loud rock music, orange jumpsuits, and three square meals a day. The new Administration will be “seeking alternative venues” for their incarceration, but they will have begun to acknowledge the fact that they really are terrorists, and the worst examples of such at that.

“Please…”

Bush and Cheney will be at their respective homes resting peacefully and enjoying retirement while Rove still walks free and contributes on Fox News. All talks of prosecution will have faded away and become the stuff of dreams.

“C’mon…”

Then one day, it will dawn on you. The New Guy is just another politician. Oh, he’s no Bush, granted, but he won’t have delivered on everything yet. In fact, some of his campaign promises will have been shelved indefinitely in favor of more pressing needs. I’ll even bet that you will have, with increasing frequency, some concerns about his official stances on various issues.

“I’m going home.”

Yes, the honeymoon will be over. I can’t predict his overall performance over the course of the next four years, but aside from some catastrophic "game-changer", I doubt that I’m too far off in my assessment here.

Oh, and all your “Obama Commemorative Memorabilia”? There’s enough of it out there to clothe, heat, and in some cases feed a Third-World country.

Its only value will ultimately lie in reminding us all about the silliness we are capable of as a country.

I’d also be interested in finding out about the “CO2 footprint” and “Landfill Cubic Capacity” of all that crap…

Make your own $129M Speech!

I did this one on my first try. Try it yourself on this site.

Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a aberrant day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "involuntary admission", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually defecate. Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces fastidious and lecherous challenges like never before. Our economy is mollusk-like. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for demons. Our healthcare system is polygamous. If your free-floating rib is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a wrestler. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a jock-strap filth. But yammering together we can right this ship, and set a course for Rabbit Hash, Kentucky.Finally, I must thank my orwellian family, my keynesian campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank NAMBLA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of retching the American people. Without your sycophantic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

A few glitches, but not bad, eh?

For the price we're paying, the real one better be much longer, and infinitely more hilarious...

Thanks to The Patriot Room for the Link!