Serendipitous Success

The Bail-out worked great!

No, I'm serious, it did! Look at what it accomplished:

We gave money to failed businesses run by morally failed leadership. This allowed for the serendipitous windfall of watching these bastards use the misbegotten money to go on hunting trips, get manicures, and buy expensive French planes.

The new administration then got to use these unforeseen benefits to further the "Evil CEO's and Corporate America" shtick that accompanies some of the more flagrant Socialization additions to the Stimulus Bill.

We could have given the money to good businesses, those unaffected by the crash, then required them, in exchange, to take on failed businesses, but without the failed leaders, and we could have stipulated that they release them back into the wild after they reach a certain level of self-sufficiency, etc...

...but that wouldn't have been NEARLY as helpful as what they have to work with now:

Useful Corporate Idiots.